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By Wayne L,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Misner
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Men are forcing themselves to suppress pain and by doing so,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], are also suppressing love. Humans cannot filter or suppress one set of emotions without impacting all emotions. He now appears to be insensitive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hardened, unfeeling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], callous, thick skinned, numb, and sometimes dead.
Try cutting a large telephone cable in half. Looking at one end of the cut half of wire will help to understand this analogy. I believe if you cut a woman in half you will see the same thing. Colored wires of red, blue, green,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], yellow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], orange, striped, non-striped and so on. Each wire would represent a different emotion. For example love, sadness, excitement, anger, happiness, disappointment, to name a few. Cutting a man in half,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the reader will see only a black and a white wire. Just two. If the reader looks hard enough though,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the other colors are all there--just like the woman. But, somehow all the wires became disconnected as he was growing up.
Women, if I can add one more hat to the many hats you already wear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], please wear that of the telephone technician. Your job is to reconnect all of a man’s colored wires (his emotions). If you want to be heard, you will have to help him get in touch with his feelings. You will teach him to feel and to love, maybe never reaching your level but rising to a more significant level. You need to help him and guide him to increase the depth of his feelings and to bring them closer to yours.
This is where I get most of my women readers really upset at me. Here we go again. Why do I have to take the responsibility? When is the guy going to start pulling his own weight? Can’t he,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this one time, take charge and be responsible for himself?
My only justification to the women is this: the man does not know,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what he does not know. If he has never had the depth of feelings a woman has,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how would he know that, and how would he know how to change it? By her unspoken desires or wishes? By osmosis? If you really feel this is not what you want to do and he is not worth all the trouble and effort you should walk away now. He won’t change without your help. In fact, it is possible he won’t change with your help. Or if he does, it still will not be enough to make you happy. It’s all up to you. But if you decide to work with him you must do it with enthusiasm and love.
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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

It is possible to keep that state of meditation going all day long! The key is to truly be present with one thing at a time, without all the mental commentary. Of course we need some commentary to help us make decisions and learn new things but overall most of what we do can be done very spontaneously. In one of my books I call it “being in the zone”, where you really learn to just trust and go with your natural instincts. You will find that when you do this, things flow very well.
Living a meditative life is different than just simply meditating. Many people who meditate often live different lives. They have their meditation and then they have their life. They have deep and wonderful, very present awareness experiences in meditation but the second they stop meditating they let their thoughts, their feelings and their egoic mind take over. They go back to living a very hectic, crazy life. You don’t have to live this way. You can practice meditation throughout the day in a variety of ways. The key, the foundation of it all, is to be 100% present in whatever you are doing. If you are eating, just be present with eating. If you are walking, be present only with your walk. If you’re smelling a flower, just be 100% present with that flower. If you’re listening to music,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be 100% present with that music. If you’re with a friend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be 100% present and attentive with your friend.
Say you are talking with someone and your mind wanders. Don’t try to suppress your mind from wandering, but acknowledge it and just go back to being with them. Perhaps you’re watching the sunset and your mind wanders to different thoughts. You recognize that your mind has wandered but you bring it back to that moment of just watching the sunset, being one with the sunset. Another example would be that perhaps you are going for a walk. You enjoy your surroundings, look around but suddenly your mind wanders to perhaps how hot it is or what you have to do tomorrow. Recognize that your mind has wandered and bring it back to focus on just the walk and the things around you. You don’t try to suppress your thoughts but you witness them, acknowledge them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but then bring your mind back to one thing, the walk. Be present with the day, with the moment you are in and experience the here and now.
I believe that if you can find a way to apply the principles of living a meditative life you will find you are living a much happier life. You will learn how to live in the now, concentrating on one thing at a time and not cluttering your mind with continuous thoughts. You will learn how to acknowledge your thoughts but then quickly re-focus your mind again on what you are doing. It’s almost like going into an automatic pilot mode in life.
By Dr. Robert Puff,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ph.D.
See all Articles by Dr. Robert PuffSee Dr. Robert Puff's Expert PageGet Updates on MeditationGet Updates on Dr. Robert Puff Average: 4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].333335 Your rating: None Average: 4.3 (3 votes) Tweet
Meditation is a wonderful experience,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but so often so many people out there stop meditating and their mind goes back to being extremely busy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], active and non-attentive. They leave the meditative state of mind to go back to the every day world. I like to encourage people to truly keep their self in a present awareness all day long. This is actually the premise of the retreats I offer on a regular basis, focusing on a full day of living a meditative life.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
It’s much like someone who’s playing sports. Once a person learns how to do something and do it well, when they get their mind out of the game and they simply trust and flow with their instincts they do it very well. They’re present with nothing but the current moment and doing what comes naturally in playing the game. Many athletes will even use the term that they are “in the zone”. It’s the same way with every day life. When you just trust and flow with what you are supposed to do then what you need to do will just come out of you and happen. When you need to make decisions you can ponder them but mostly you just flow with life, being present with life and quieting the mind. Quiet the mind in such a way that you can just flow with life, be with life, live life; ultimately, just being.
Most of us lead our lives, all day long with our minds jumping all over the place. We hear commentary in our heads; “like”,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “don’t like”, “want”,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “don’t want”, “I wonder if…” and it goes on and on. All day long it’s like having a little person on your shoulder whispering in your ear. By the end of the day, we are exhausted from all that mind clutter. For most people the only time they get away from this constant mind clutter is by going to sleep. For those who meditate however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we can learn to quiet our mind during the day when we are awake. That is the beauty of meditation. What if you could keep that state of meditation throughout the day?
I’d like to share a technique that can be very helpful in being in the present moment throughout the day. This technique comes from your meditation practice. When you meditate, let’s say you’re just focusing on your breath – a breath meditation. When your mind wanders you simply go back to your breath. When your mind wanders you witness the thoughts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], acknowledge them and then go back to your breath. Let me give you an example.
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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

2.Your second internet business option (keep in mind, we are simply itemizing possibilities here) is to make research and try to gather information on business opportunities and trends, there's always likely to be an extremely expensive possibility. Perhaps this option is it? From time to time, it's the only way nevertheless at least you'll have thought about all of the lower cost issues, prior to settling on spending a lot of money or time.
And help you make money online starting an online business or internet business.
By Stavros Georgiadis
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The chosen position for each one was we focus on simple business tips,research or information or both,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],a business that is a complete package for convenience,a costly but a high probability successful business?
2.The second option to think about was make research and try to gather information on business opportunities and trends
Consider some of the benefits with this alternative?You will be an informed entrepreneur.
What are the downsides with this online business action?
Research is both time consuming and sometimes expensive.Evaluating out the benefits and drawbacks with this option, which one might you prefer?Research or information or both?
Discussion of business recommendations
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What are the pros of this option,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?Get valuable information.What are the negatives with this action?
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A costly but a high probability successful business?
While your dilemma might be a difficult one, there are some possible solutions to it. You might have already thought of a few or perhaps all of these,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but why don't we have a closer look at them. These are simply options, you don’t need to reject them out of hand, or even accept any of them at this time, simply because each one is going to be looked at more closely.
There is usually an alternative that may involve you using your own time, instead of funds that you may not have access to. Sometimes, this means learning new skills or habits.
Current Situation
Possible online business solution options.
There could be a moderate cost option that might assist you over a temporary patch, even though it doesn’t keep going for a long time.
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The options have all been identified and the pros and cons for each choice found and discussed and a favourite position for each individual option found. At this point it is time to weigh the choices against each other,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
The options were copy marketing and seo tools and techniques plus internet marketing,make research and try to gather information on business opportunities and trends,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],pay someone to present a business plan to you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],hire a guru or expert on business.
The “just refuse to do anything at all option is usually almost always possible, simply because it may well be the cheapest, even if it is extremely tough. It always must be thought about.
3.The 3rd possibility to take into account was pay someone to present a business plan to you.
Consider some of the pros with this internet business choice.You receive a ready to go business model.
What are the negative aspects with this option?Your preferences ad passions are not being considered,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Evaluating out the pros and cons for this alternative, which would you like?A business that is a complete package for convenience?
This is now the point where the internet business options which have been listed can be considered, to look at the benefits and drawbacks. It is always essential to look at each side of any problem and to consider all the negative and positive factors of the alternatives shown.
Discussion of online business options,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
1.The very first choice was copy marketing and seo tools and techniques plus internet marketing.
Consider some of the benefits of this option?Use only what works in business to make money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
What are the downsides of this action?
What works today for business may not always be working for the future so as to make money.
Balancing out the advantages and disadvantages with this alternative, which one might you prefer?We focus on simple business tips.
3.The 3rd home business alternative might be pay someone to present a business plan to you.
Did you ever get enmeshed in troubles like this? The issue is a common one but many people refuse to think about it at all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because they don't want to have to make a decision. Some people just worry and worry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], without ever finding a way to overcome the difficulty and move forward.
Make money online with an online business or internet business.
In this case, the selected alternative may be really easy to see, though it isn't always as obvious as this.
Think well if you have the business spirit to become a successful entrepreneur.
At this instant why don't we have a look at precisely what has prompted the present difficulties.
Problems related to online business.
Final Decision
Precisely what is the current situation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Why don't we examine it in closer detail. Would it contain some or all of the following points? You might have a few other points you could include too.
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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

At the GSMA Mobile World Congress in Barcelona,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Nissan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], AT&T,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], NTT DOCOMO and Telenor Connexion announced that the Nissan LEAF system marketed as Nissan Connect powered by CARWINGS has been awarded the Global Mobile Awards 2011 prize for the "Best Mobile Innovation for Automotive and Transport".
By whitescot
See all Articles by benson brownGet Updates on Business OpportunitiesGet Updates on benson brown Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
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The NISSAN CARWINGS Data Center,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], an information control centre communicates with the car navigation system via the onboard Telematics Communication Unit (TCU),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with the ICT system,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Nissan LEAF owners are constantly connected to the data and information they need to optimise their EV experience.
The Information and Communication Technology system (ICT) for electric vehicles won the award that honours excellence and innovation in mobile communications, The GSMA's Global Mobile Awards offer organisations across the global mobile ecosystem the opportunity to showcase the latest and best mobile products,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], services and initiatives to the world.
The telematics service which is installed in the cheap Nissan LEAF in Bournemouth was launched in Japan and the United States in December 2010 and will go on sale in Europe at the beginning of 2011. ICT provides real-world data that is important to realising a low-carbon society in the future,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as well as deliver greater convenience,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], comfort and security for Nissan LEAF owners.
The ICT has features unique to EVs which includes EV usage history and battery conditions, it also has a remote control for battery charging and climate control, and the system can be accessed by a dedicated website for EV owners via mobile phones,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], smart phones and computers to manage energy usage.
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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

I’ll finish this post with a story about an elephant,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Might as well.
Author's Bio:
A brand new baby elephant is tied with a length of rope to a post. The baby elephant is too weak to break the rope despite trying plenty of times. The elephant remains held there by the rope as it grows bigger and stronger. Eventually, the elephant is strong enough to break the rope and break free. The elephant doesn’t realise this however,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so it remains in the circle it knows it can move within comfortably, without even trying to break out of it. The elephant is conditioned to believe it cannot go any further. Don’t be an elephant!
In case you don’t already know, a comfort zone is the boundaries within which you feel comfortable. This can mean mental, physical or habitual or all three.
I find gym training is the best metaphor for this. Any challenges or questions I have, I equate to the gym.
People talk about moving at a pace that is comfortable for you. I say move at a pace that is comfortable for the person you want to be and I’ll tell you why; you are built to live the way you already live. Your muscles are the size they need to be for what you already do. If you took on a more physical,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], heavy lifting lifestyle, your muscles would grow. They would then stop growing when they were strong enough to cope with the new way of life. People who want bigger muscles than their usual occupation and lifestyle would create, go to a gym and lift weights. They force the workload of a stronger person on themselves and their body responds. This is how the comfort zone is expanded and how you make gains in all areas of life.
Why have I hit a plateau? I need to change my approach as this one has hit its limit.
I’m suffering from overwork,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Take a couple days off.
I’ve reached my target and stopped growing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Increase my target.
This is too easy. Targets are set too low.
That person’s stronger than me. They didn’t used to be. They were where you are now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], once.
Know which exercises achieve the best growth, results and outcome for your desired model.
Keep your eyes peeled for the latest development info.
Have a spotter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. You’ll make better gains with someone to push you.
Back up your training with sleep and the right nutrition. Keeping you at your strongest.
Keep your balance or you’ll fall flat on your face.
By Mickey Oddwin
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Basically, you are being held back by this function. Do anything and everything it takes to stretch the boundaries. Force difficult deadlines on yourself. Do something you’ve been putting off because you’re worried about the outcome. Force yourself to do extra physical exercise. Have more uncomfortable conversations that need to be had to get things done. Whatever you can do to stretch your comfort zone, do it, because living in your comfort zone can get sticky and uncomfortable if you have any desire whatsoever to improve at anything.
Well I don’t mean to seem ungrateful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], brain, and yes, you do normally do a wicked job (except that time when you made me fall over and break my wrist on a night out, cheers for that!), but you need a bit of training. You can ask for more than basic survival. You’re being a right wuss.
In terms of goals to better yourself, think about where you would like to be in six months. If you were there now, how would you be doing things differently? Would you be more confident? Would you be feeling much more driven by the success of the last six months? Would you be speaking to some different people? Would you be going to different places? Would you be working harder to hold onto your progress and to continue to grow? Pretend that now is then, because this is the workload and the pressure you should be using to bully your comfort zone into backing off now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], creating growth and room for more.
Within your comfort zone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you live the way you always do, staying on familiar territory. This almost guarantees that today and tomorrow will be the same as yesterday. This is most probably a deliberate survival function of the brain. I survived yesterday. I pulled through relatively unscathed, so if I live today the same as yesterday,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I’ll pull through another 24 hours at least. What more can I ask for?!
The reason a comfort zone is called a comfort zone, is that when you step beyond the boundaries, you start to feel a bit uncomfortable… more extremely, out of your depth. You should know that those boundaries are set by you based on your past experiences.
I could go on and on. But instead, I’ll dish out a few suggestions you can try today to get you started, along with what you’ll learn from it:
Do as many push ups as you can today. Do this every other day for two weeks and see how much progress you make. This proves that constantly ‘doing’ to your max potential forces progress
If you have a deadline set for doing something (anything), shorten it by 10% and make sure you meet the new deadline. Teach yourself that you can surpass your own expectations
If you have a short term goal that doesn’t have any serious restrictions like a boatload of money you don’t have, give yourself one week to do it. Use the internet to find out how to do it. Do it. Show yourself that you can pick a goal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], research it and use the research to achieve the goal quickly
If you need to do something or go somewhere and can’t be bothered, do it anyway. Get into the habit of making things happen before you think you’re ‘ready’. This helps to stop you putting things off
Think of something you don’t know how to do and learn how to do it. Prove to yourself that you can learn to overcome obstacles that you’ve never had to overcome before
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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

Do you believe that children cause their parents to react with anger and stress? If, for example, children tell their parents a sharp "No!" in response to a direction or request, must their parents become upset,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or do parents have better options?
The fact is that you can always improve your reactions to some degree. But as long as you believe that another person or your situation gives you no choice but to react in any particular way, you give up your power to change.
Children do not make parents react. Children are not responsible for their parents' behavior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], attitudes and emotional states. Under any circumstances,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in any relationship, you can gradually free yourself from stress and strain and employ healthier, happier,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and at the same time more effective responses.
In the relationship between children and parents, the parents are responsible for determining if their reactions are really working. Parents don't need their children to behave in any particular way to maintain their peace and poise with their children. Parents can develop their self-control to make it stronger than the child's power to disturb them.
This does not mean that parents must ignore or condone however their children behave. In a state of peace and poise, with your attention focused on what is happening in the present moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can perceive more clearly what you and your child need in the now.
Parental self-care is not selfish. Preserving your calm confidence not only feels better than reacting with anxiety and annoyance. It is healthier,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it makes it possible for you to come up with more effective responses that really connect with your child's needs in the present.
Parenting young children is one of life's greatest challenges. It demands your very best to produce calm,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], content and well-behaved young children. But parents often work so hard at it that they undermine their objectives. Parents influence their children in negative ways when they push themselves with stress and strain to control their children. Parents also negatively impact their children when they regard their children as responsible for how they - the parents - react.
To really be in charge with children, parents need to choose responses that achieve their objectives. In any situation that children make their parents react with anger and stress, those parents need to focus on taking charge of themselves.
Children need their parents to be in charge of themselves. To develop responsible behavior, children need their parents to respond in a very particular way to whatever is happening now. The appropriate response to children's behavior comes from parents reading their children accurately. You need to "read" your child's verbal and non-verbal cues in the present to recognize what your child needs from you.
Nobody in their right mind wants to feel angry and uptight. If you believe children make their parents angry and uptight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you overlook the parents' power and responsibility to improve their reactions.
Parents who blame their children for their own reactions of stress and strain resent their children. These parents then feel and act like victims, causing their children to lose respect their parents and for themselves. Additionally, exasperated, frustrated reactions from parents allow children to begin reading their parents' weak emotional patterns,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], negatively empowering those children to dominate and manipulate their parents.
Parents of young children in particular need to heed this message because the trends that they establish in the first six years of life form the strongest and longest lasting personality patterns of their children,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Parents who feel overwhelmed and out of control of their children's behavior can immediately start improving things by focusing on improving their self-control,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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By Bob Lancer
See all Articles by Bob LancerSee Bob Lancer's Expert PageGet Updates on ParentingGet Updates on Bob Lancer Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet 相关的主题文章：

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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

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But why do people want to get rid of their moles? For all intents and purposes, moles are simple anomalies or dermal irregularities. If your moles look like that of Cindy Crawford's beauty mark then,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], by all means,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], let the moles stay. But they are a rare breed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and we couldn't all be Cindy Crawford. Lesser mortals -that's us -are unlucky enough to be saddled with moles that are far from flattering. Thus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they have to go.
There are times when heredity can also be blamed for this. The large number of moles in my cousin can be explained by the similarly large number of moles that her mother,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my aunt, has. They are called as atypical or dysplastic moles. There are also instances when these dysplastic moles appear on the skin due to prolonged exposure to the sun.
By Darell Belen
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Aside from observing the moles, you should also have a doctor diagnose whether your moles are cancerous or not. Once they are proven to be dangerous,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you should immediately take the initial steps to choosing a mole removal method that will work for you. You can choose among lotions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], creams,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and even surgical operations and excision. The type of mole removal method you will use will ultimately depend on the type (and the accompanying dangers) of moles that you have.
What are moles and what causes them? The medical name for a mole is nevus, and it is basically a dark spot or pigmented lesion on the skin. They come in all sizes, shapes and color, ranging from skin tone to dark brown or black. Congenital moles appear directly from birth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], while some people's moles appear later in life. These are referred to as acquired moles. Moles are common and it's not strange to have them appear; however, there are people who are more prone to moles than others. The number of moles in a person largely depends on physiology. You would probably even notice how fair-skinned people have more of them.
Author's Bio:
Moles are not removed purely for the sake of beauty. Some moles actually pose the risk of melanoma or skin cancer. In fact, it is considered to be the deadliest form of skin disease. They could be harmless at the beginning, but there are cases where even the harmless moles can become cancerous. This is especially feared by those who have many moles all over the body.
There isn't a particular body part where moles exclusively appear in. They sometimes appear in the most unexpected of places and in varying concentrations. There aren't any moles on my cousin's face. But the concentration of moles is around her neck and upper chest area. Just recently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she was informed about the possibility of undergoing mole removal procedures to get rid of those unsightly spots around her neck.
The advancements in skin care and maintenance today are very impressive. Scars and pimples are no longer something that people have to put up with. Warts and other skin problems too. Moles are not skin problems,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], per se, but people do find them problematic. That is why mole removal is now practiced largely.
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In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there are certain telecoms jobs where this kind of approach tends to be very unsuccessful and this is where specialists in telecoms recruitment are needed. For example if a company is looking for an experienced telecoms engineer it can be unlikely that the usual advertising will help them to find the correct person. Such a role requires someone with extensive knowledge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who needs no training and is able and enthusiastic to keep up to date with any changes and developments in their specific area. And this is where telecoms recruitment becomes necessary.
Some companies will promote from within to fill a telecoms vacancy and this can create both benefits and downsides in telecoms recruitment. One of the benefits is that if a person is already working within a company their skills and knowledge is already known and to a certain extent much of the usual testing before a job is offered does not have to take place. This can cut down on the amount of time spent looking for an individual to fill a vacancy. One downside to this kind of telecoms recruitment can be that a better candidate for the role,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who is outside of the company will not be considered as the role was not advertised externally. However it is down to the company with the vacancy to decide which the best is for them.
Telecoms is short for telecommunications, and telecommunications is a way of transmitting a signal over a large or short distance using satellite,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], telephony,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], radio, cable or television. As telecoms are an ever growing and changing area of business there are always roles within it that need to be filled. Many of these jobs are available for people who have little or no experience in the field of telecoms and they can be advertised and filled quite easily with on site training
given once a person is in their job.
Author's Bio:
By Jason Jones
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There are various different ways in which a company can find the right person to fill a vacant telecoms position. One way is by advertising in specialist telecoms publications, these kinds of magazines and periodicals tend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because of their dry subject matter for many,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to be only read by those who have an interest and are looking for career development in the telecoms area. This means that an advertisement for a job vacancy is better placed to get responses from more qualified individuals than one in a local or national newspaper, or job paper.
Telecoms recruitment can be a difficult process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but by looking in the right places for the best candidate a company will be successful. Agencies and advertisements,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], used correctly will provide any company with the kind of staff to be proud of.
An article that looks at what telecoms is and how to go about successfully recruiting individuals to fill a role within the telecoms area. What are the methods available and why using telecoms recruitment agency might be the answer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
One of the most popular ways of finding a person to fill a telecoms role is to use the services of a specialised telecoms recruitment agency. Such agencies will have individuals on their records that have different skills and abilities within the telecoms area and they will be able to find exactly the right person to match a company’s needs. There is no need to place adverts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sift through mountains of
applications and interview several people, all of whom may be unsuitable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when an agency can do this for you. By the time an agency sends a candidate to you they will have been tested and interviewed at length to make sure that they are what you are looking for. Telecoms recruitment agencies will obviously charge for this service but this cost is usually worthwhile compared to the time that may be spent in-house finding the right person for the role.
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When Necessary

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[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

I had a conversation with a client who interviewed for a big job. Someone in a very senior role within the firm, who she wouldn’t be reporting to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], was a part of the interview team. When they met, he said he had little interest in hearing about her competency or experience. Others would ferret that out. He wanted to know who she was,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what she was passionate about,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what makes her happy. She was inspired by that conversation. She took the role and shared with me part of her decision was impacted by wanting to be around someone like that, someone so genuinely interested in her as a person. She said she thought she could learn a lot from him. That’s powerful.
If you are a person who genuinely enjoys knowing people beyond the work environment and spends time doing just that,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then you’re likely seeing the benefits that those personal relationships get you. People will always do more,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], go further,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and support people they feel some connection to. I often say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the more I know you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the more likely I am to do you a favor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take your call when I’m busy or go above and beyond to help you.
Maybe, maybe not. Here are some questions to consider:
By Saara Robles
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• What do your team, peers, friends at work say that about it?
• Where does your data come from?
If you look at what people are asking from their leaders,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one of the key things is authenticity. So you may want to evaluate how much of yourself you bring to work. The risk of only showing parts of you is that people sometimes sense leaders are putting on a false front that doesn’t feel real. Do you have a genuine interest in knowing about the whole person you work with, or are you more comfortable maintaining a professional relationship and keeping your personal life your own and not knowing as much about the people you’re surrounded by?
People who work hard to keep a portion of their lives separate from work may do so at a cost to themselves. It takes a lot of energy to restrain ‘who you are’ and limit the parts of you that you expose to others. Additionally, others often sense that and can feel uncomfortable at times with what seems like a distance between you and them. I have a client working on this now. An example is a very likable guy got promoted to lead a team he used to be a peer on and he feels like he wants to maintain a certain type of relationship with his now direct reports. He keeps personal information from them. They don’t really know anything about him outside of work. He tells me he’s unsure why he keeps so much close to the vest, and what we’ve been exploring is the amount of energy it takes to do that. We may not realize the personal costs associated with being a certain way at work and a different way at home. It may serve us to ask why. What is our fear if we share ourselves?
Question: I feel as if I’m a different person at work than in the rest of my life. Is that bad,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
• How,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if at all, does it get in your way?
Author's Bio: 相关的主题文章：

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

Whatever the reason, you need to chalk out an effective exit plan that yields profits for you. Here are a few things which you need to consider when you plan to sell your business:
Usually,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], businesses do have some logical successors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially the family owned businesses. But typically, the small and medium sized entrepreneurial startups do not have the luxury of logical successors. Hence, such entrepreneurs or small business owners are left with no option other than selling the business.
Author's Bio:
There could be various reasons for selling a business. You could be compelled to sell a business because of bankruptcy or some emergency or natural disaster that may have disabled the business to operate. Or you might be thinking of selling a business to go into retirement. Or better still, the plan might be to start a new business by selling the present one.
Greater revenues
Place yourself in a buyer's position and ask yourself this question: 'Will you buy a business that doesn't guarantee great revenues”,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The answer will of course be NO. Can you then expect to attract good buyers if your business is not bringing in large revenues?
Most of the time CEOs are so busy in managing their own businesses that they don't get time to plan exit strategies. That is why it is all the more necessary to join a CEO peer group and take help from people who have years of experience behind them and can offer you practical advice and not just bookish knowledge.
Check your facts about what you seek to sell
Selling a business doesn't only mean physical assets. It includes trademarks,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], goodwill,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], clients list and so on. You have to determine whether you want to sell everything in the corporation or not.
Keep everything up-to-date
Selling a business is like selling a house. When a house is up for a sale, don't you clean it up, give it a fresh coat of paint and make it presentable? Similarly when you plan to sell a business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], keep everything organized and ready, right from the infrastructure to the financial records. Even if you are no more interested in running the business, you would still have to keep the financial or business records updated, keep the premises spic and span and the inventory full; in order to draw potential customers.
These days,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], selling a business requires as much planning as starting it. After all, you spend a great deal of your precious money and time on setting up a business; and obviously, you would not like to sell it for a loss. Not surprisingly, experts say it takes a business owner a minimum of 5 years time to implement a successful exit plan strategy.
By Tom Bordon
See all Articles by Tom BordonSee Tom Bordon&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Mastermind and Mastermind GroupsGet Updates on Tom Bordon Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Chalking out an exit planning strategy is not as easy as it appears to be. Therefore it is always a good idea to become part of a CEO peer group which can assist you in effectively carrying out an exit plan. CEO groups in Atlanta or any other city consist of CEOs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], COOs and other top level executives who meet once a month to share their problems, business ideas and exit planning strategies. They counsel each other and give each other honest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], no-frills-attached opinions and suggestions. Here you can expect to get practical ideas about how to conduct an exit plan.
Minimize risks
If you are confused about what you can do in your business to draw potential buyers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; start thinking from a buyers' point of view. No buyer will buy a business which involves big risks. Identify what needs to be done within your organization in order to minimize risks. Besides reduce your liabilities as much as possible and settle lawsuits if you have any.
The key to getting good buyers and an expected price lies in maximizing your operating profits in the run up to the sale of the business. If you require proper guidance on how to maximize revenues, you can join a CEO peer group in Atlanta or any other city in which you operate. CEO peer groups are one of the best ways of getting practical guidance, especially if you are yourself a CEO,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], President or General Manager who does not get the right kind of support or honest opinions in his/her own organization.
相关的主题文章：

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

There are plenty of options as far as children eyeglasses are concerned. From metal child eyeglasses to the plastic ones, polycarbonate lenses to glass ones,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there are wide ranges of choices available for your children eyewear. Whether you are buying cheap eyeglasses for your kids or looking out for designer eyewear, you have to be very careful while selecting them. There are certain aspects which you cannot afford to ignore while selecting metal child eyeglasses or any other eyewear for your kids.
By Best Price
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While buying discount eyewear for your kids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you must always be careful with the lens material that you use. It is always recommended to buy polycarbonate or trivex lenses for your kids as they are extremely light weight and more impact resistant as compared to other lens material. You should totally avoid glass lenses as they are more susceptible to breakages and even cause injuries. Most of us think that plastic lenses are cheaper and therefore go for plastic in an attempt to buy cheap eyeglasses. The costs of polycarbonate lenses are almost similar to that of plastic lenses with UV and scratch resistant coating. It is therefore always better to opt for polycarbonate lenses for your discount eyewear and get that desired extra safety for your kids.
Frame type
In the market,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will generally come across metal child eyeglasses or plastic eyeglasses. Most of the manufacturers produce metal child eyeglasses almost similar to the adult styles which are often admired by children. If you are planning to buy cheap eyeglasses for your kids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], glasses with plastic frames are the best option. Children's eyewear with plastic frames are extremely lightweight, durable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cannot be easily bent or broken and also very reasonably priced.
However those who do not have any budget constraint can easily select metal child eyeglasses as they too are manufactured with almost the same features as that of plastic eyeglasses. If your child is allergic to certain metal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can opt for discount eyewear with hypoallergenic materials or ask your optician to recommend the best alloy for your child.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Bridges and Temples
Lens
So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], next time you are out in the market to shop for metal child eyeglasses or any other eyeglasses for your kids, do consider the above given aspects and make an appropriate choice.
Even while selecting cheap eyeglasses for your kids, you cannot ignore the fit of the bridge of your child's glasses. Since the noses of the younger kids are not fully developed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], their eyewear tends to slid down every now and then. It is therefore recommended to select discount eyewear for your kids that fits appropriately well on to the nose of your kids.
It is recommended that discount eyewear for your kids should have temples that wrap around the back of the ear. This will avoid constant falling of the eyeglasses from the child's face. These wraparound styles are generally available in metal child eyeglasses. Though wraparound temple types enable your kids in keeping their eyeglasses in place, it is feasible only for those who wear glasses on a part time basis. If your child wears glasses on a regular basis,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is better to opt for skull temple which curves properly at the back of the ear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], thereby giving a firm grip to the eyewear.
相关的主题文章：

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

If you make up one’s mind to pay for a Directory listing make sure the Directory has a great page rank and has an essayed traffic record,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in this manner you know that the money you dropped is well worth it. Many Directories provide free Directory submissions. Free and paid are the most common kind of directory model. A link exchange or a one way link is believed a free link.
Search Engines like to see a Website modified regularly and asserting the directory will ensure that all the links are however functional and that all the URLs still exist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Many Websites are eliminated due to unsuitable descriptions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The description is the most unmanageable item to specify correctly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
One way to get assistance for an accurate description is to ask with friends to view your Website or communicate people from forums to view your Website. A description is not an advert and would never contain excessive or superlatives marketing hype. When publishing your description you are not composing it to sell your product you require to write it showing the profit of your product, no hard sell in the description.
Each listing bears a brief summary of the content carried within. Links in Directories are paid or free but require a reciprocal link. A Directory is a compilation of links that are formed in a way to build it easy to search on. Oftentimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you search for something in the Directory and you do not find it, just because it is not there but since the directory search script just does not cut it.
The Directories will always be around,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so the future for Directories will change as the Internet changes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they will require to adapt and extra services. The third essential factor in Directory submission is making sure you utilize the correct title,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], descriptions and keywords in the right category. Once your Website is let in a Directory the listing is everlasting and you will receive traffic each and everyday.
Search Engines utilize directories to check the value of Websites, remember that Directories are human altered and these Directories add check for the Search Engines,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], one of the most popular Directories that most of the Search Engines check with is dmoz. Submitting to Directories is looked out since it is very time consuming and it has to be manually done to be done right,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but it is a best Search Engine Optimization strategy.
When utilizing a Directory submission service just make sure that you find a service that will continuously add your Websites links to Directories even after the letter submission. By giving one price for the Initial submission and never bearing to pay again for extra submissions to Directories is what you like,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Evan O'Hara
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Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];相关的主题文章：

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
To protect your unoccupied property is as vital as it is protecting a lived in property in fact more essential as it is a lot more chancy. Anyhow in these financial times property owners are finding it bothersome to adjust to a high insurance quote,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The article looks at the tips that should be followed in order to get a cheaper home insurance quote for your unoccupied property,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
In order to get the most cost-effective unoccupied property insurance quote, these steps should be followed.
Author's Bio:
3. Take away land value - Often when you value your house,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the land value is also included,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it would be a good idea to deduct the land value as you will not need to stress about insuring it for the reason that it would be unlikely for anything to occur to the land.
If a property owner is away from its property for whatever case, it is absolutely essential to have home insurance for unoccupied property. This is for the reason that if the property is damaged, while not being present in the house,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will not have to pay anything towards the damages that may have been caused. So for this reason it is crucial that your unoccupied property is fully covered.
1. Securing your property - This will lessen your monthly premium by having additional protection to your property; most insurance companies are likely to give a discount this way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Most of them offer a 20% discount. They will commonly have to pre-approve the security system before giving the discount,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This will also make the property less risky for example it will be unlikely for a thief to break in or for the house to be vandalised or for a fire to occur without the emergency response being notified. It may also be a good idea to have fire extinguishers in case of any danger. This will be favorable in the long run even though securing your equity maybe dear.
So by following these tips, the insurance quote for unoccupied properties would be a lot lower and a property owner can save a lot, and are able to protect their investment
There are alternative ways of securing the house such as ensuring window locks are fitted. If for any reason the property doesn't have suitable safety measures,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it would be recommended to do so by most insurance companies before even offering insurance. It is also relevant that the house does not look like its empty so as a result ensuring you have curtains, have your neighbour park in your driveway,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], make sure mail is taken away regularly and maybe have someone check the house regularly such as a neighbour or a friend. This will result in a lower insurance quote.
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Do your research - The key is to get a number insurance quotes and look up online for different insurance companies that offer different plans,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. You should be aiming to get at least three insurance quotes. It is important to find a good insurance provider that will be able to give you the most fitting insurance quote possible. Unoccupied home insurance is important to all homeowners who want their property to be safe and want to forbid their property from any damages that can be caused.
By mona malik
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相关的主题文章：

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

Improperly managed anger can be just like that stubborn child. When it consumes you it takes control of what you do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who you are, and what you say without any regard for rational thought; much like a stubborn child. A stubborn child can often be aggressive and irritable; when anger is in control people often feel just like that stubborn child,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], aggressive and irritable.
By Angela Smythe
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Managing your anger can be done in just the same way you deal with a stubborn child. Children often get angry because they don’t feel as if anyone is listening to them or understanding them. Take the time out to listen to them and understand them and that stubborn,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], angry child calms down quickly.
If you don’t understand why your angry than it will be difficult to calm down,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Taking the time to think about it or talk it with someone not involved and you can often figure out what the trigger point was and deal with it in an appropriate manner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Sometimes it is best to take an angry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stubborn child off to the side, away from the group,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in order to give him/her an opportunity to calm down and get under control. Separating yourself can be a good anger management tool as an adult too. Sometimes if you remain in the same general vicinity as the triggering person/issue you will not be able to calm down. There’s a reason why Mom always told you to walk away from a fight; out of sight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], out of mind. You don’t see the problem and you will forget about being angry.
Anyone that has ever babysat for their little niece or their baby brother knows how hard it can be to deal with someone that says no just because it is all they know,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Little kids know little if anything about self-control so when they see something they want they don’t understand why they can’t just take it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
相关的主题文章：

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

In February 2004 Derek Eastman and I were invited as guests at the annual dinner of The Bushido Za Zen International Society by its Chairman Mr Arnold Davies Hanshi an old student of Kenshiro Abbe Sensei and a close friend of my own good friend Bill Woods Sensei.

ujiwosapf

Defense Mechanisms Ward off Unwanted, Threatening Feelings
“Sometimes when I get to work in the morning, I’m already in an “erotic haze”. Female colleagues are all objects for sexual fantasy. I’m always distracted; not able to focus. If work needs my attention, when reality impinges and pulls me out of sexual preoccupation, I’m angry. Reality is boring. Regular sex with a girlfriend is just not interesting to me.”
The rest of the story is predictable. They moved in together and the beautiful, young,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sexy female goddess started to make demands and have needs of her own. He admits he never felt warmth or love for her; she was merely a supplier of his narcissistic needs. As the relationship deteriorated, he fought the impulse to have anonymous sex with people who wouldn’t make demands on him.
Another patient demonstrates a narcissistic personality that uses sexualization as a defense. He is a 42-year old attractive, unmarried man.
“My life, however, is still absorbed with sex and sexuality. Sex is the lens through which I see the world. If I go to a family function, I get lost in sexual fantasies about my young niece. The fear of being found out to be “deviant” devours me. If I see a woman on street who’s dressed in just such a way, I’m worthless for the rest of the day. Vanilla sex with a regular gal just doesn’t turn me on anymore. Sex needs to be bizarre, novel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], taboo or forbidden for me to be interested.
Sex, for the addict, begins to be s primary focus for a confirmation of his sense of self. Feelings of inferiority,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], inadequacy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and worthlessness automatically disappear while in the “Erotic Haze” while acting out or through spending untold hours on the Internet. The problem is that using sex to meet narcissistic needs for approval or validation disallows using it to meet the intimate needs and wants of a treasured, real woman.
A patient of mine, a 50-year-old attractive unmarried man, came to therapy because he is ending yet another relationship in a long string of problematic relationships. In his early years, he lived a toxic household where he felt frightened and alone. As a result, he went into his own world of fantasizing and masturbation as a way to soothe and protect himself.
The anxiety of being unable to regulate his inner life drives sex addicts to run to his only source of comfort and safety, his “Erotic Haze” where he is shrouded by sexual fantasies, isolation from real-life, and self-soothing. There is also the quelling of an unconscious wish to find the missing, yet crucial tie to the mother figure. He again, unconsciously, fantasizes that he can regain a connection with an idealized “other” who represents the all-powerful yet feared and often despised maternal object. The strategy is doomed to fail. Tragically for him, there IS a real person behind his fantasy and sooner or later other person’s needs, wants and demands start to interfere with his fantasy world. Disappointment, frustration, and loneliness are the result.
Addicts have experienced enduring and long-standing deprivation of his needs in his childhood. Anxiety and fear about being closely connected to someone in adult life is the result of these early-life parental misattunements. The sex addict is uncertain getting what he needs from real people. Rather than going to the human community to be supported, nurtured and validated, he turns within himself and determines to seek need gratification in his sexual fantasy life and real-life enactments with sex objects or to internet cybersex and pornography where he feels soothed and comforted for a brief period.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
“The other nigh I went on a date. After the third date, she wanted to have sex. Predictably, I didn’t. I don’t know I can maintain an erection with a woman anymore. I spend endless hours looking and porn and flirting with girls in chat rooms to live in my erotic fantasies, when it sex becomes real, sexual interest soon withers away as her wants and needs become apparent to me. Sometimes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I don’t even engage in pursuing real women, because I know the result is a painful let down. Quite frankly, I have no interest in really getting to know someone or in extending myself to satisfy her needs and wants.
“When I was young, I would obsess about beautiful women in my father’s magazines. When I got old enough, I dated numerous woman but I never had a steady girlfriend. Later in life, I experienced a sense of sadness, emptiness, loneliness and anger that I didn’t know how to handle. To mask these feelings, I had a steady stream of women who adored me, comforted me, and tended to my needs. I visited peep shows and I went to see prostitutes. Many nights I would spend hours circling the block looking for just the right sex worker to perform fellatio in my car. Once I acted out with a transvestite. I felt dirty and bewildered. That night, I sobbed me way home.”
A mother may be distant and narcissistically preoccupied or she be over-protective and constantly interferring. This kind of woman may be subtlety seductive with her child, perhaps using him as a substitute for an emotionally distant husband. The child perceives the mother’s inability to set boundaries as seductive and as a immense disillusionment. In adult life, the addict is hypersexual and has trouble setting his own sexual boundaries. Closeness to another is experienced as an overwhelming burden and as dangerous to his individual development. The child has lived a life where structure and boundaries have not been set. Later in life the sex addict’s unconscious belief is that the rules don’t apply to him with regard to sex, although he may be regulated and passive in other areas of his life.
In essence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sex addiction enacts in real life the underlying deep-rooted conflicting, and painful relationships patterns from early life that distort current views and beliefs and self, others, sexuality and intimacy. It is a symptom of a stuck developmental process that occurred as a result of some aspect of inadequate parenting or an experience of being disenfranchised from peer groups in later childhood.
The use of sexualization as a defense is written about in the psychoanalytic literature. A defense mechanism is a strategy a child devises to psychologically survive a noxious family environment. While this way of protecting himself may work for a period of time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the continual use of the same defense mechanism in adulthood can have devastating consequences to ongoing functioning in work and love. Living in the “Erotic Haze” — losing himself in sexual feelings and relentlessly viewing other people as potential sex partners, or by spending excessive periods of time on the internet with porn or cybersex, the sex addict is able to mask and control. threatening and uncomfortable feelings
He is now in a another shaky relationship. He had been smitten with the woman’s youth and beauty. Unconsciously, he thought a relationship with her would allow him to stand-out in his social environment. Men would envy him and he would consider himself a cut-above. Again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], his goal was to fortify his shaky sense of himself.
He had met a girl whom he described as “perfect” — a “10″ – the ONE for me. They became engaged but he quickly lost interest in having sex with her. He described sex with a real, loving, available woman as “boring.” While still engaged,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he started seeing prostitutes for oral sex in the car and once again started using phone sex to compulsively masturbate. The reality of having to tend to someone else’s sexual needs couldn’t live up to his self-centered, deviant sex.
The “Erotic Haze” tells the tale of a frantic search for the fulfillment of unmet childhood needs for validation, affirmation and soothing. Activities in the “Erotic Haze” lessen anxiety about connection and intimacy as it serves as a way to achieve a sense of self-validation.
This is a person who uses sexualization as a defense mechanism. He uses sexual daydreaming as a way to mask unrelenting, pre-conscious feelings of loneliness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], inadequacy and boredom stemming from a childhood that involved always making effort to get love and nurturing from an emotionally distant, depressed mother. When stress or anxiety begins to make him feel paralyzed, he is experiences powerful cravings to enter t he “Erotic Haze” to indulge in his secret, sexual world. Sexualization thus becomes his customary manner of dealing with emotions that he experiences as overwhelming as well as a way of stabilizing a precarious sense of self-worth.
Sex addicts usually have had a problematic mother-child relationship. If the mother is not empathic, she will have little tolerance for the stressors of raising a child. If she is alcoholic, depressed or narcissistic, she will be unable to supply the nurturing, empathy and attention that are needed for the healthy development of her child. This results in having generalized anxiety,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fear of abandonment and a sense of insecurity and low self-worth in adult life.
By Dorothy Hayden, LCSW
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The diagnosis of sex addiction is the same as every addiction: loss of control and continued behavior despite adverse consequences. Sexual addiction differs from other addictions, however. Our sexuality reflects unconscious conflicts, longings and wishes of which we are not aware.
The narcissistic elements in sex addicts cause them to view other human beings “need-satisfying objects” to bolster feeble self-esteem — not as whole human beings who have their own wants and needs. Narcissism prevents sex addicts from getting gratification from connected, give-and-take relationships in real life with real people. “Sexing” is a magic cure-all for need gratification without having to navigate the vicissitudes of real-life intimate relationships.
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